I have been thinking recently about signs. One of my friends that had a miscarrage was telling me about a sign that she got just before her miscarage. She walked into her doctors office to tell him that she was pregnant and laying on the floor in the middle of the room was a dead man. A few days later she lost her baby. Was that a sign? I think it was.
I was thinking back to just before i found out that my boys had died and was trying to figure out if anything like this happened to me. I realised that it did. On the 2nd of January John Travolta's son Jett died.
Before it being all over the news i didnt even know that john Travolta had a son but seeing it all over the news really hit me hard for some reason. I was really sad about it. I felt really sorry for john and his family and couldnt even begin to imagine how he must be feeling to lose his son Jett. I didnt even want to think what it would feel like to lose my son Jett or Eli.
I found out on the 7th of january that neither of my boys had a heart beat. It devistated me. I forgot all about Jett travolta and his family. All that mattered was that my boys had died. I didnt have to imagine their loss. I was feeling it along with them.
I found out from their autopsy that they most likely died on saturday the 3rd of January. technicaly only one day after Jett Travolta. I was thinking about it and with the time diference ( Friday the 2nd of January over there is Saturday the 3rd of january over here) My boys and him died on the same day.
I really think that it was a sign. I think at the time deep down i thought it was a sign too but i didnt want to believe it. I knew something was wrong but i didnt want to believe that either. It took me 5 days to find out that something was wrong. 5 days to get the courage up to go to the doctors for them to confirm my worst fears. Something was wrong. Soemthing is still wrong. My boys arent here where they should be. Thats wrong.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Shortly before Mackenzie died I had told my husband in a conversation about marriage/divorce that in my mind the only thing would cause us to get divorced would be the death of a child together. What the hell?! I swear it was one of the first things we both thought of after we found out she was dead. Sometimes I feel guilty, like I spoke her death into existence. Anyways, I'm not sure if that was a "sign" but I know what you mean. That's crazy that your boys died on the same day as John Travolta's son. I've never believed in signs like I do now. I wonder how many I missed?
xo
Ashley
I never really felt pregnant. It didn't feel real to me. I was pregnant for 5 and a half months and even thought I felt him moving and his kickings it never seamed real. I don't know if it was becasue we had been waiting and wanting so long for this pregnancy or if it was a sign not to get to close. I also knew the week he was born and the day he was born that I was not bring a baby home. That he was not going to be here with us. I had no real problems during my pregnancy and no reason to think that I would not bring a baby home. I just felt it, I just knew that he was just going to be here for a bit.....
Post a Comment