Hello February

I am so glad that January is over and done with. There are so many hard days in January and it seemed like they were never going to end. first was the day that they stopped moving and their hearts stopped beating on the 3rd, then on the 7th was the day that i found out that they had passed, on the 8th was the day i was induced, they were born on the 10th, they were due to be born on the 16th well that wasn't their actual due date but it was the day that i was booked in for a cesarean to have them, then was 19th was the day that i had their viewing and had to say goodbye and their cremation was the day after on the 20th and finally their actual due date on the 29th. So many days in one month it seemed like as soon as i got over one day the next would come tumbling down on me and knock me over. And to make it worst the friend that i have mentioned before that was having twins, gave birth to 2 healthy baby girls. I am happy in a way that they are healthy because i don't want anyone to go through what i am going through but it is a giant knife through my heart. but i am thankful that they are girls i don't know how i would have handled it if they were boys.

Today the 1st of Feb i am making my new year. I am usually a very negative person so i am going to try and make this year a better one and get my life back together and be more positive. That is my new years resolution this year. I really hope that i can stick to it unlike all of my other new years resolutions in the past.

P.s i have been very lazy and i haven't posted much about the boys birthday or any photos. I am going to try do that soon.