The new me.

I cant even begin to explain how i feel. The truth is i dont even know how i am feeling. I think i have gone through every emotion that there is. All i am really feeling is lost. I feel numb. The way that i have explained it to one of my friends is that i feel like humpty dumpty. I was pushed of my wall and my entire life was shattered into a million peices and it doesnt matter how much anyone tries i cant be put back together. My body is here but my heart has been broken too badly to ever be fixed.

All i wanted in the last 6 months was to feel like me again but i know now that this is me now. I will never be the same as i was before and that is ok with ne because without this pain and greif that i feel i wouldnt be able to apreciate what a gift that i was given of my angel babies.

I supose that not everyone can say that they have held an angel but i am lucky enough to be able to say that i have held 2.

I still dont know who the new me is but i am slowly trying to figure it out. All i know is that i am happy to be me and i wouldnt change it for anything.

xx